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This… is my BOOMSTICK – Army of Darkness  



First do we have our father Christmas and how he can deliver presents.


This new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.


Things that irritate a sane person!


Are you a guy or what?


Badtime virus is here.


A list of different way to shit..

Technical support


Men and Woman


What is a man and most off all what is a woman.


What will impress man and women?


Differences about women and men.


More Men and Women VS Computer


Heaven or Hell

Have you heard about the Microsoft Windows programmer who died? He found himself in front of a committee that decides whether you go to Heaven or Hell. The committee told the programmer he had some say in the matter and asked him if he wanted to see Heaven and Hell before stating his preference. "Sure," he said, so an angel took him to a place with a sunny beach, volleyball, and rock and roll, where everyone was having a great time.
"Wow!" he exclaimed. "Heaven is great!"
"Wrong," said the angel. "That was Hell. Want to see Heaven?"
"Sure!"  So the angel took him to another place.  Here a bunch of people were
sitting in a park playing bingo and feeding dead pigeons.
"This is Heaven?" asked the Windows programmer.
"Yup," said the angel.
"Then I'll take Hell."  Instantly he found himself plunged up to his neck in
red-hot lava, with the hosts of the damned in torment around him. 
the beach, the music, the volleyball?" he screamed frantically to the angel.
"That was the demo," she replied as she vanished.

 What Not To Name Your Dog

Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy." I call mine Sex.

Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one, too." Then I said, "But this is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "But you don't understand. I've had Sex since I was nine years old." He said I must have been quite a kid.

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. He said every room in the place was for sex. I said, "You don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night!" The clerk said, "Me too."

One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just stading there looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't understand," I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show-off.

When my wife and I seaparted, we went to court to fight custody of the dog. I said, "Your honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "Me too." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, "Me too."

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4:00 in the morning?" I said, "I'm looking for Sex."

My case comes up Friday.




Why do you need a driver's licence to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstates in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplough get to work?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If a cow laughs, does milk come out its nose?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

If buttered toast always lands buttered side down and a cat always lands on its feet, what would happen if you tied a piece of buttered toast on the back of a cat and dropped it?

If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn on your headlights, what happens?

You know how most packages say "Open here".  What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do we drive on parkways when we park on driveways?

Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called shipment but when you transport something by ship its called cargo?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn the radio down?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?

If fire fighters fight fire and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight?

Why ask why? 

Try Bud dry.  Then again, if Bud's made from water, how can it be dry?

If con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress?

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?